In the early 90's, Daniel Goleman published the best-selling book "Emotional Intelligence". As an officer in the military, facing frustrations with the limitations of stereotypical military leadership styles and attitudes, reading this book gave me great hope and insight. At least I wasn't the only person that believed that being in touch with human emotions was critical to success - especially in a leadership role. Have you taken an emotional intelligence lately? I did OK on mine - although I obviously have room for improvement in a couple of areas...Goleman's latest book - "Social Intelligence" is equally eye opening. One theme he explores in his latest work is the personal versus impersonal mode of human interaction. He introduces the I-It concept as a common behavior in which we overlook the human aspect of people we meet in certain settings. This is especially prevalent in the medical and service industries. How many times have you treated another person as an "it"? I see it every week when I travel - so many airline employees, from ticket agents to flight attendants, passengers and customers showing utter disregard for the fact that they are interacting with another human being. The alternative approach - the I-You interaction, involves an awareness of the other person, including sensitivity to their emotional state. The I-it is certainly more convenient in many situations, and it requires a whole lot less stress and effort - when I stop at Starbucks, I just want a cup of coffee, I’m usually not prepared to hear the latest emotional ills of my neighborhood barista... But how often do we choose the I-it style when we really don't have to? Try this - next time you're out for a meal at a restaurant and the waiter/waitress refills your water glass, take the time to look them in the eye, smile and extend a warm "thank you". Hold the gaze long enough to measure their reaction. At the same time, assess your own internal reaction to the 2-second gesture - you may be surprised. The brain responds to this sort of social interaction in milliseconds - you'll be amazed at what that 2-second pause will do for you. Invest about 3 minutes in a day, in two-second increments, to these random acts of I-you and let me know how it turns out...
1 comment:
Interesting post. Being in the medical industry and a coach for some of these businesses, this is definitely a point that I emphasize with my clients. The Nordstrom's approach but it is quite another thing to get the business owner's personnel to buy in to this.
Discussions on customer service are usually met with a ho-hum apathetic mentality, when clearly, they can differentiate a business from the rest in my opinion.
What strategies can a business owner/leader employ to get the staff to participate. Most I read say some sort of reward system. What are your thoughts?
David
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