The Connected Adolescent

Wow, has it really been that long since I've shared my thoughts online?! Maybe it's been the 300,000 miles on airplanes this year or the continuous mad scramble to keep business flowing in this unprecedented economy.There certainly hasn't been any lack of conversational topics, though...

It's almost a cliche' anymore to point out the ways that the internet and information age has changed our life and how we interact. Early last year, I referenced Sean Tevis' indoctrination into political activism. I still remember the day he walked into my office relaying to me how he had been encouraged to launch a campaign for Kansas State Representative, Michelle had suggested that he solicit my view on the matter. With no funds and no political background running against the incumbent retired police chief in a strongly conservative Republican district, it seemed a bit of senseless folly, and with their first child on the way....perhaps Michelle expected me to talk him out of the idea (I never went back and asked her, she intimidates me too much). Not knowing at the time that I would be moving to Oregon in less than 2 months, I told him he would be a fool not to run, and that, as the underdog, he should turn this into a new media campaign ("go with what you know" I told my favorite web developer and blogger). Remember what happened earlier this year in Malaysia, right? (actually, most people in Kansas had not paid much attention to the political revolution in Malaysia earlier that year, so the reference was somewhat lost). Well, the rest, as they say, is history. Gaining national media attention for his web-based fund raising efforts, Sean made this laugher of a race incredibly close. It was Balboa-Creed I. It was so frightening for the establishment, that they introduced the "Sean Tevis Bill" right after the election, attempting to make sure that these new media activists can't threaten to upset the balance of power ever again (good luck with that one, I guess)....

Closer to home, though, I have entered that magical phase of fatherhood known as adolescence and puberty. Probably high on the conscious mind of any parent (and child) at this stage is social development. I have noted a trend in my own social interactions over the last 5 years. With the explosion of social media and constant connectivity, I find myself continuously connected with hundreds of friends and colleagues, even from the far corners of the earth. If I need professional advice on a marketing campaign, I can instantly ping 385 of my friends and coworkers on LinkedIn, if they each forward it to a friend of a friend, it reaches a network of over 4,177,000 people! On Facebook, I'll post albums from our hockey teams, instantly notifying 225 friends and family of Tyler's game-winning goal.

So, the dilemma; at what point should a 12-year old kid be allowed to socialize online? Being the progressive parent, I decided to set up a profile for him. As it turns out, facebook requires users to be 18years old to have an account. Poking around, though, a noticed several of Tyler's classmates' profiles. After a conversation with my wife and establishment of a very strict set of house rules and requirements, we turned our 12 y/o loose on facebook. Guess I'm not the only parent choosing to overlook the minimum age requirements - less than 3 weeks later, he has a network of over 100 online friends and classmates. It struck me that, unlike those in my generation, my sons will likely not find themselves with "long lost friends". Remember when your best friend moved away after 3rd grade? Sure, you traded post cards time and again, maybe a phone call when his family passed through town (oh, the days of interstate toll calls...). But, by high school he was little more than a memory and the occasional "I wonder what ever happened to Bill Coffer?"

What about that random encounter? The "visiting from out of town - friend of a friend" you met at the Halloween party? Unless you made considerable effort, developing and maintaining a long distance friendship was a rare occurrence. Not today. Meet someone who you'll only see twice a year? Not a problem, link up on facebook, follow each other's twitter feeds and become life-long friends...

But I wonder - do we spend so much time online connecting remotely with the masses, that we will develop less deep relationships to the few closest to us? Hard to tell, really, as I sit in my easy chair receiving Farmville gifts from my wife, who is lounging on the sofa next to me, also working on her laptop. "Hey Ty," I yell to my 12 year old in the next room, "I need more chickens for my coop." "No problem, dad, I'll send you one." Such is life on the family farm....

The Joy of Shopping

At the half-way point of my 4-week journey, I find myself in Bangkok, Thailand. If you read my previous post on the "Stress of Travel", you know that I was pointedly challenged on this trip to bring home meaningful and substantial souvenirs and gifts for the family. After multiple failed attempts to overcome my shopping "mental block", I found resounding success in the night time street markets of Kuala Lumpur. With the help of our local agent, Ng Kee Oei, and his fine negotiating capabilities, I was able to secure a nice collection of casual shirts for the boys and designer-looking handbags for Shelley.

Then I got stupid....and overconfident. The right course of action at this point would have been to neatly tuck the loot into my checked baggage, make no mention of it to the family, carry on with the business at hand during the rest of my trip and just surprise everyone when I get home. Yep, that would have done just fine - everyone would be happy, and quite surprised to receive something other than airline toiletry kits and coal.

Nope, I wasn't that smart. In retrospect, I'm not sure if I could have really controlled what happened next. I think there is probably a chemical explanation, perhaps it will be explored in Daniel Goleman's next book. Now, when Shelley goes on a shopping spree, she invariably comes home and rethinks her purchasing decisions, experiencing remarkable self-doubt. I think the term for this phenomena is "shoppers remorse".

Conversely, after a long morning run, the endorphins released in my system, give me a euphoric sensation, commonly referred to as a "runners' high". Maybe it was the release of stress and fear of failure - but I returned to my room with an unmistakable "Shoppers' High" that night. I will blame this chemical imbalance for my actions over the subsequent 24 hours.

Mistake #1: Immediately sharing descriptions (and pictures) of the purchased items with my family. Had I just maintained a secret and presented the gifts upon my arrival, everyone would have been happy. By reporting 'in situ', I created the opportunity for increased expectations. Seeing the types of goods available, the family's "wish list" turned into a shopping list.

Mistake #2: Admitting that I enjoyed the shopping experience. I no longer could collect 'hardship points' for subjecting myself to such an arduous and unpleasant experience.

Mistake #3: Actually enjoying the shopping experience. The human brain is a remarkable organ. It works on a complex series of pattern recognitions and electrochemical reactions. Once the pleasure centers in the brain are activated, there is an inherent (and uncontrollable) motivation to replicate the experience. Drug dealers know this "the first hit is free".

Having experienced this "shoppers' high", I undertook the singular mission of replicating the experience. Sitting at the airport in Kuala Lumpur, I research the shopping scene in Bangkok. I discovered that the largest, and most famous, of the markets in Bangkok is the weekend market; Chatuchak Market. Since the market is only open on the weekends and Sunday would be occupied with setting up our trade show booth and meeting with the local agents, I had no choice but to shop immediately upon arrival on Saturday afternoon. At 2pm I arrived at my hotel. So intent on stimulating the pleasure centers in my brain, I skipped my unpacking and set-up ritual altogether. Tossing the bags on the bed, applying a liberal amount of sunscreen to my exposed skin, I rushed out the door to the train station two blocks away.

During the 25 minute ride on the "sky train", I felt my internal anticipation building. Maybe it was the "standing-room only" crowd on the train - all heading to the same destination at the end of the line. As the train slowed approaching Mo Chit station, we passed the market below. It was HUGE! Does anyone really appreciate how big 35 acres really is? No, that wasn't a typo - I was gazing across a 35 acre outdoor shopping bazaar - and with great anticipation.

I scurried off the train amongst the masses, eager to dive headlong into the sea of bargains. As I turned down the first aisle, picking my way through the 15,000 vendors, a familiar feeling overcame me....gone was the happy feeling from serotonin release in the brain's pleasure centers. This place was WAY out of my league. Looking at the wares available for sale, fear engulfed me. None of the clothes seemed big enough to fit anyone in my family, all of the handbags looked cheap and gawdy, the articles morphed before my eyes - nothing would possibly fit in my luggage. The old feelings were coming back. Determined to beat these demons, I pressed on, determined to find that shoppers' high again. I was breaking into a sweat. (OK, maybe I'm being dramatic, I was sweating because it was 90 degrees and humid outside).

After almost two hours, (one of which was devoted to finding my way out of the labyrinth and back to the train station), I found myself carrying 2 t-shirts for the boys, quite certain they would be too big for Timothy and too small for Tyler. Slumping into a seat on the train, I came to grips with what I already knew - I am not, and never will be, a good shopper.

Will New Media change the course of the elections?

General Election, 2008

Tomorrow is election day, and it's what everyone is talking about. This is only the 12th general election held in Malaysia, so it's still a really big deal. Tyreal will not be able to accompany me to Bangkok tomorrow, he will fly out on Sunday instead. Tomorrow, he needs to drive 3 hours to his home town to cast his ballot, then turn around and drive 3 hours back to Kuala Lumpur. All to support the "illusion of democracy" as my dinner companions put it.

Malaysian TV and Radio are state owned. The ruling party decided years ago that it was not in its best interest to allocate air time to opposition parties trying to deliver their manifesto to the masses. According to some people in this city, districts who elect and support opposition candidates suddenly find their government-provided services lacking - or even absent altogether. No wonder the ruling party won over 90% of the Parliament seats in the last election - with a record number of candidates running unopposed.

Some believe that this year's election will be different. What the government in Malaysia can not control is the Internet, blogs, YouTube and SMS messages. Can this make a difference? Perhaps. In 2000, only 15% of Malaysia's 25 million people had Internet access - today, that number is almost 50%! (By comparison, roughly 50% of U.S. households had access in 2000, and 71% have access today.)

So, do Google and YouTube have the power to change the world? Guess we'll have to see.

By the way - how many people were aware that the Malaysian Parliament was dissolved earlier this year, forcing a general election one year ahead of schedule? Who thought the Florida democratic primary in the U.S. would even matter?